DISQUS

Kathy Curry · 1 year ago

As much as I want to have an opposing viewpoint to get the bacsk of blacks, I have to agree wholeheartedly with what you are saying. Sometimes I feel as though there is an unspoken, universal competition between blacks.

But I have another issue that I personally think is, or is becoming, a far greater issue than how we treat each other based on the complexion of our skin. I take issue with blacks who are condescending to other blacks. You know, the blacks that have "made it", the blacks that are educated, and the blacks that fortunately don't have to live from pay check to pay check. I respect and give kudos to anyone that has worked hard to make it. That person deserves everything they have worked to earn. And on the flip side, I don't like those who blame the system (another thing blacks are so good at) and won't work for anything and expect a hand out from whoever they feel "owes" them Neither is good. And in my opinion, one is not better or worse than the other; a black that thinks they are better than other blacks, or a black that cries woe is me.

I have been made to feel “less than” and right now, I am not talking about by white people. To me, it is a double knife in the back when it comes from my "own". I may have some higher education but there are so many people, who only went to grade 12, that can out smart/intelligence me anyday! The sad thing about most condescending blacks; they either deny they are this way and slap on false humility, or they claim entitlement to be this way because they’ve worked to get where they are.

I got off the subject of this post, so to get back on track, light skinned… dark skinned…. we all should support each other. It is so embarrassing because other races see our inability to be a cohesive people.

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

Great comment Kathy. You have brought up another enlightening example on how Blacks discriminate against one other. I have a friend who when I first met her, I wouldn't have ever thought she had a Masters degree. Not because she wasn't intelligent, but because she was so down to earth. I was use to meeting Black people who would broadcast their higher education whenever they got the chance. And she wasn't like that. That's one of the things that I continue to respect her for to this day. Another thing I continue to learn daily is that a higher education does not equate to intelligence. It really doesn't.

Kathy Curry · 1 year ago

I love people like your friend. Those are ultimately the people who can influence and help other blacks.

Petula · 1 year ago

What you've presented is sad, but true. Unfortunately, Black society as a whole is in competition. Women against women. Men against men. Different shades against one another. I don't think there is ever going to be an end to this sort of discrimination/racism. Our history breeded us to be insecure about who we are and it has been passed from one generation to the next. Even if you were able to avoid it within your own family as soon as you broadened your surroundings (high school, college, work), you were met with that and experienced it personally or through associations.

It's funny because as a person who others call "light skinned" I never identified myself like that and -- although it sounds silly -- didn't realize I was considered that until I was an adult. It wasn't a phrase we used in our family. I am careful about phrases like that in my home because I have one "dark-skinned" child and I would never want to single her out as inferior or different. Unfortunately, I can only shelter her for so long.

Well-written post. Thanks.

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

Hi Petula. Welcome to 7daybuzz. Thanks for commenting on this post. Your statement, "Our history breeded us to be insecure about who we are and it has been passed from one generation to the next" is sooooooooo true! I'm about to have my first child and, like you, I plan on not using, what I consider, negative, discriminatory and derogatory terms as they relate to our race. But I know, I'm only going to be able to shield her for only , as you say, so long. By the time that I can't shield her any longer, my goal is for her to be secure in who she is (regardless of what other's think or say).

Tom Sawyer · 1 year ago

This is just one more example of something we could do to get out of our own way and make things better. The sad part is there are still some light-skinned men and women who think that alone gives them the edge. We need to push past judging people based on the color of their skin, any color, and experience people for who they are.

Tom Sawyers last blog post..I Had a Bit of a Scare Yesterday

Honey · 1 year ago

I know about this topic all too well. Since kindergarten, I have been dealing with the light skin vs. dark skin issue. I learned a long time ago that children in particular do not care about what other race or skin color child they interact with, unless told differently. This is a behavior taught to them in the home by parents, grandparents and so on. There were more than a few times my "friend's" parents told them to stay away from me because I think I'm better than them. I mean, really, how sick is that?
My mother is white and my father is black. I have a fair complexion, thick curly hair, hazel eyes and a very curvy shape. I am often mistaken for a woman of Hispanic Heritage. To many of my misguided darker skinned sisters, "I think I'm better than them, because I have "good hair" or whatever other crazy mess they can come up with. To many ignorant white folks, I'm not white enough.
Honestly, even though the lighter skinned blacks were in the "Big House", it does not change the fact that they were still slaves. If they tried to escape, they were treated just like the slaves that worked were that tried to escape. The hatred and brainwashing amongst our people stems from Slavery indeed, but you know what, we as a people need to stop carrying on the slave master's indoctrinated thoughts and ways. This can only happen through proper education of who we are as a people, who our ancestors were and the greatness we come from. Our ancestors went through too much BS for the segregation occurring to this day between us. Hell, it wasn't that long ago that we could not sit in the front of the bus, people seem to forget that.
The sad thing is that a majority of Black folks are so set in their ways and actions, they can't see how much power they would have if we all came together and became one.

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

Hi Honey. Welcome back to 7daybuzz. Your comment is excellent! It is the type of response I wanted to generate when I wrote this post. You are right - kids don't care about a person's skin color until they are taught that there is a difference. I like that you brought up the "good hair" topic. I may have to write about that:--) Hope to hear from you again.

Kim Sawyers last blog post..Just Another SEC Season

Kathy Curry · 1 year ago

Great comments Honey!

"a majority of Black folks are so set in their ways and actions, they can’t see how much power they would have if we all came together and became one" So so true!

Kind on this subject, here is something I have heard occasionally and more so since I have moved to the South, light-skinned people have the worse tempers, especially brothas. I think that is the craziest thing. It's like, at birth at the hospital looked at the child and decided they would be light skinned, and then injected them with rage! Stupid!!!! I know dark skinned, light skinned, medium skinned, any skinned black people who are nice and those who do have a temper. What in the world does color have to do with it? Surely the biggest part of that is genetics? Don't you think? I guess the premise is they think they can just talk any kind of way because of their skin color.

Have any of you ever heard the term wasted yellow?

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

I'm not sure about genetics being a factor as it relates to a person's temperament. But I can see the environment they grow up in having an impact on how they react to certain situations.

Never heard of "wasted yellow." What does it mean?

Kim Sawyers last blog post..Just Another SEC Season

Kathy Curry · 1 year ago

Serious? Now come on Kim. You have never seen family members with the same temperament? Even ones that are raised apart? (don’t make me give you an example of the fearsome 6) lol. Maybe you won’t ever come back and tell me, but when your little girl acts just like her daddy or you, you'll admit my point. As openminded as you might wanna be, one day your mouth will be open and on the floor and you won't believe you are seeing your husband, in minature form, in a little dress!!! Girl, it's coming!

Wasted yellow: in IN where I grew up, a black man had scored if he got a light skinned woman with long hair. Omigoodness! That was the coveted prize! If he couldn't get that, he would go with a white woman. Just because a woman was light with long hair, many considered her pretty, regardless of how she really looked. Well, when a woman was light, with long hair but wasn't pretty that was called wasted yellow. Yellow meaning light skinned. And let me say, I've only heard the term coming from blacks.

Where I grew up, dark women were made to feel so inferior due to their color; many are bitter and sour toward brothas and the light skinned sistas who think they are special due to their complexion. I was amazed when I grew up and went to other places and saw, not all areas in the world ignored beauty in sistas and brothas, with some depth to their complexion. I don't know how that mindset hit the men I grew up around, but let me assure you, it did and those grown up men, still feel the same way

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

Aaah, Kathy you may have a point there. In fact, I see your point clearly now. I was blind, but now I see:--)

WHAT???? About the wasted yellow! That's crazy, but I understand the meaning now. Makes me wanna sing We shall overcome, we shall overcome, we shall overcome someday........ It's sad that day hasn't come yet.

Kim Sawyers last blog post..Just Another SEC Season

Honey · 1 year ago

Thanks for the welcome, Kim! Please do the great "good hair" debacle.
Kathy, I have never heard of that term, but I do know that a lot of Black men do like to go after lighter skinned Black women for the reasons you mentioned. I see beauty in the whole Black race, no matter how light or dark you are. It's a damn shame that our people still measure each other this way, instead of basing your thoughts and feelings on how someone acts towards you and what they mentally bring to the table.

I also know what you mean about being cohesive, because other cultures do stick together, very much unlike us.

You know what else also gets to me? Not just the skin color issue, but the issue of people failing to realize that slavery of our folks was not just in the U.S. It was and still is a global issue. So, why are we hating on our West Indian, African or even Hispanic brothers and sisters - Why are they hating on us? At one time or another, slavery became a major depressor of the aforementioned ancestors. We are all Black, no matter what spin you place on it. Jamaican, Guyanese, Panamanian, Black Americans, Puerto Ricans, etc. We all came from the great Kings and Queens of the Motherland. Throughout time our people , no matter what part of the world they lived in or dialect they spoke, became entangled with Europeans due to the false pretenses they imposed. For those that need proof, look at the infamous hair issue, some of us have naturally straight hair, some of us need a flat iron or perm to get our hair that way. Let's not forget the European Straight weave hair...

Look at the original people of America, our Indian brothers and sisters, befriended the Europeans and later went through massacres that dwindled down their population, immensely. The separation of our people goes way back and we need to educate ourselves and each other, especially our babies. The knowledge of our history can greatly empower us for the now and for future generations. All of us need to understand where a lot of our ways actions and thinking originates. It's deep stuff... We are the ORIGINAL people and we need to act like it.

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

I feel you on a lot of your comments Honey. I am a true believer in education as it is a pertinent factor in the growth of our community. However, it is unfortunate that there are some in our community who downplay it. For instance, if a Black person speaks proper English, that Black person is "trying to talk White." What kind of foolishness is that!

Carol Robinson · 1 year ago

Okay, facts are facts! It is a well known fact that within the Black community that lighter skinned Blacks are, more times than not, treated differently than darker skinned Blacks. I agreed, but not in a favorable light for lighter skinned blacks. No, me, not all light skinned blacks, ME!

I can’t speak for all light skinned blacks, only me. My light skin has gotten me know where, fast. If the truth be told, I have received nothing but ill-contempt as the result of my light skin (reversed discrimination, within the race)! I have not been treated in a favorable light, being light skinned and black.

It has been my personal experience that some, not all; Black people (light and dark) make false assumptions about me. They form preconceived notions about me, before giving me the opportunity to let my true-self be known! I am 42 years old and all of my life I been lied on, talked about, and treat like an outsider---and I’m not all that light!

I try to look beyond the surface, and dig deeper into the root cause of the matter in an attempt to figure out what makes people do what they do. I have learned to overlook a lot of ill-treatment; due in part to what has been deeply embedded in our people (Willie Lych, The Making of A Slave) minds. For the most part, we don’t know any better. Self-Hate has been systematically ingrained in our people, past down through the generations.

Simply put, we are being controlled by remote control. We need to stop allowing Willie Lych to control our minds. Most of us have never read The Making of A Slave by Mr. Lych, yet we follow the principles in that book to the T. The Self-Hate that has been ingrained in our minds is kept alive through our fears and insecurities!

When will this mischief, madness, and mayhem end among our people? When will we learn to love one another; and to accept the diversity among our people and appreciate one another for who we are?

Now is the time, we need to put all this foolishness to rest. We need to stop the black on black hate. It will benefit us all to keep an open mind; allow time to get to know someone before condemning them to light skin/dark skin Hell.

I admit it, I’m idealistic, and I know that equality among our people may never be a reality in this day and age, but we got to start somewhere.

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

Hi Carol. Welcome to 7daybuzz. I agree wholeheartedly with you! Especially the part about Willie Lynch. Alot of us just are not aware of his philosophy, but it is being implemented over and over in the Black community. Thank you for your post. We hope to hear from you again.

Honey · 1 year ago

Carol, you are absolutely right about Willie Lynch, that indoctrination is fully alive today. That is why so many of us are the way we are. Many us fail to realize that ignorance and lack of knowledge is why this bs continues. We need to challenge ourselves and each other to see where this foul behavior stems from and change it. All of us need to know that there was an indoctrination period for our ancestors before they even became slaves. The brainwashing of them did not end there, of course, it continued throughout their slave days.

People do not know that our ancestors were lied to continuously. If a man and a woman wanted to get married, the slave master would tell them to jump over a broom together and they would be married. Hence the term "jumping the broom".

Many of us do not know that they were given leftover table scraps of food, like a dog, to eat. Or about the meager food they were given and us being the original people we are, made meals out of that. If we only knew how high in salt and unhealthy pork is and how it was used as part of our torture, we would steer clear of it. After slaves were whipped, pork brine was put on their backs to increase the pain factor.

I could go on and on...

ksawyer123 · 1 year ago

Hey Honey, go on and on and educate. This is great!

Kim Sawyers last blog post..We’ll Miss You Bernie Mac!

Carol Robinson · 1 year ago

Honey! You feel my pain! We are of like minds! I recently moved to Georgia from California, and let me tell you, this move has been a culture shock for me! The games people play! What happen to southern hospitality? I pity most of these people; for they are dying of a lack of knowledge, ill regardless to the mean spirited things they do, because I know where it’s steaming from.

Honey · 1 year ago

Thanks Kim for your encouragement! Carol, sadly enough, not all of our people are ready, nor will they ever be ready for the TRUTH. In order to do so, you have to acknowledge the pain we as a people have always been through and smash it. We have to look inside ourselves and we definitely have to want better.
I hate to say this, but it is the truth..we wait around for the next Great Black leader to guide us, instead of us guiding ourselves and each other. You can march, scream and cry foul all you want, but if you are not educating yourself and others, how can you be taken seriously? We have always been looked at as the dumb black n's and many of us are comfortable with that and say we don't care what others think. I, for one, cannot condone that frame of thinking. I look at those that say Go Barack! and ask myself, do you really know what it's all about?

Change is more than wanting lower gas prices and wanting to being able to afford your mortgage payments. Change is making things happen to make sure they don't revert back to the same ole bs. Change is a Black President indeed, I support him without a doubt, but it does not end there, especially when so many don't want him there and want him to fail. Change is realizing that the Black Family Unit is so imperative in a child's life..realizing that our families have been torn apart from jump. Change is not being selfish and is definitely not settling for less than we deserve. Change is listening to Nas's new cd and seeing why so many were uncomfortable with the title he chose in the first place. He puts things on blast and some of us are not ready to step out of our comfort zone and deal with that.

I see so many of our young brothers and sisters in my neighborhood, wrapped up into being a Blood or a Crip. They don't know how it began or why, they're just following along trying to be accepted into something they don't fully understand. They don't know who Tookie Williams was and how his death was celebrated by so many just like when a slave was hung or dragged to death. These teens are somewhat fearless and have no heart whatsoever. They have no manners or scruples. Catching a case or a body is the in thing to do nowadays. Where are the parents, the grandparents, somebody who gives a damn and can yoke these kids up and say don't even think about it, get your head into those books and be somebody one day! I will tell you one thing though, they're are not the real gangstas they think they are, place them in L.A. or even parts of Philly, where my father was from and they would be shell shocked.

We have a long way to go...