7daybuzz - Latest Comments in Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

bo — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 07:27:59 -0000

see my girlfriend is a server, and I give her a hard time sometimes, and ask her when she's going to find a "real" job. I dont mean to be rude but sometimes it is frustrating even talking to her about the situation. And yes, when ppl ask what she does for a living, I usually lie. The sole reason I am embarassed is because I know she can do better for herself than take people's orders. Im not saying I have ever been rude to a server, because I think every person deserves respect until they prove otherwise, on an individual basis. There are many reasons that serving is a great job, but there are also many reasons it is NOT. Think of the following "what if?" statements and you'll begin to see where Im coming from. What if she hurts her leg/arm/hand and cannot work? There are no accomodating "desk jobs" and she will be let go. (and dont get into HR and discrimination, because in most cases there is never enough evidence against the company for it to hold water) What if she were to become pregnant? Most servers claim their hourly wage plus a small percentage of their tips. Therefore, if she were to go on leave, she would take less than $8000. She may as well go on welfare. What if she wants to share income with her spouse to mortgage a house, and live a comfortable lifestyle? Well, ppl say the avg. take home is around $80,000 annually. This may be true, but I know first hand that some weeks she will take home $1000 in tips, and others she will take a mere $400. I need a little more consistency than that. Finally. She is only 24, and she has the legs, shoulders, etc. of a 50 year old, and counting... so I wonder how arthritic she will be once she turns 50?

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:58:04 -0000

Hi Kent. Great comment about the male perspective.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

kentsmith — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:22:37 -0000

If most men "live lives of quiet desperation" then most women lead "lives of what ever is pragmatic" What does it take for me to surrive?
Men have dreams and visions of what they "can be or should have been"
Women have dreams and visions of who they "are married to, who they know, who they are friends with, who they connect with".
We all want the ultimate statement " I AM"......______________
For men what we do is who we are...........so if someone is a waiter.... that's who he is. Even if he was married to the President of the USA, he would still be a waiter.
Male transition jobs are for the under 30 guys, because that is when the "quiet desperation" starts to sink in to our souls. My son worked 4 years as a waiter in his 20's, not his career.
If a job is considered a transition job, then it is because the person has dreams and goals beyond the now, and they have the ability to delay gratification, which has been proven to be more inportant than smarts...
Waiter and waitress jobs are for those who want them or for those who don't want to look for something else.
Any job that puts you face to face with the public (car sales, retail sales, service industry) will
open your eyes to how people are. I wish everyone had at least one year of their lives exposed to the public. Afer the year, they would never forget to say "Thank You" to the person serving them.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:19:52 -0000

Hi Patricia. Welcome to 7daybuzz. I have to follow up on your statement, "I am not ashamed of what she is doing now nor would I be ashamed if she were a waitress as I realize it takes everyone time to get started and everyone needs to find their own way." Can I safely assume that this means that eventually you would want her to something other than being a clerk (or waitressing)?

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:17:24 -0000

Hey sassy Mama Bear. Welcome to 7daybuzz. I have so much to learn (and to look forward to) as a parent! :--) But, it's all good. I really appreciate you all's comment on this subject. It has been very enlightening for me.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:15:05 -0000

LOL! I couldn't take it!:--)

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Anita — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:02:56 -0000

You know I was thinking... If there were no waitresses, we'd all be eating at drive-throughs.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Patricia — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:54:24 -0000

My college graduate daughter presently works as a clerk in a store making minimum wage. Working as a waitress would probably be a step up financially speaking. I am not ashamed of what she is doing now nor would I be ashamed if she were a waitress as I realize it takes everyone time to get started and everyone needs to find their own way.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Sassy Mama Bear — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:52:03 -0000

I think it is our job as parents to encourage our children to find their own career path based on their desires, not ours. As much as it may not be what I want or think is best for my daughter to be a waitress, she needs to learn that on her own and make her own decisions.

Sassy Mama Bears last blog post..Current giveaways at Mama Bear Reads:

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:03:40 -0000

Hi Lee. Welcome to 7daybuzz. No offense taken at all. I agree with you concerning the woman who equated waitressing with prostitution. It doesn't make sense. Thanks for enlightening me on the 'true' average salary of a waitress. But just to follow up on something you said about your daughters -- "I have two grown daughters who have both worked as waitresses at one time or another" -- did they do this while they were going to college? Or did they make a career out of it? Because I think most people on here said that if it was temporary, they would not oppose their daughters doing this.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Tarheel Rambler — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:49:48 -0000

Let me start by saying this is my first visit to your blog and I hope that the rant I'm about to embark on is not offensive to you. I mean no disrespect.

I have two grown daughters who have both worked as waitresses at one time or another. I am proud of both of them because they worked these jobs and made the best of work that was less than appealing for all of the reasons you stated. But there were things they wanted and to get them they had to accept work where they could find it.

I have no doubt that there are waitresses that make $80,000 a year. Keep in mind that the average salary you cite takes into account the high end of earners as well as the low end, which could be less than $10,000 per year...and I've know a lot of waitresses who fall at the low end.

Having said that, this post is less about what waitress do or do not make and more about self-righteous morons making judgments about people based on the work they do. To equate waitresses with prostitution is probably the most asinine statement I've seen in my life. It is the worst kind of elitism. I wonder if that woman feels the same about the people who serve her when she eats out. If so, I hope they spit in her food.

I'm confident that the waitresses who make $80,000 per year both know how to deal with difficult guests to be able to avoid the groping and know what good service is all about. Wait staff perform a very difficult function in an atmosphere of very demanding 'clients' and have to know a lot about human nature to do well.

If a person enjoys their job, whether it be as a stock broker, lawyer, doctor, garbage man, sewer cleaner...whatever...and they work hard to do the best job they can, then it is a worthwhile, honorable job. People looking down their noses at any profession need to ask themselves what makes them the judge of everyone else.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:34:42 -0000

Hi Athena. Welcome to 7daybuzz. Do you think waitressing at a casino is comparable to waitressing at a 'regular' restaurant?

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Athena — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:25:39 -0000

It depends on the place she's waitressing, I think. I would be appalled if my daughter was working in a Hooters chain or similar, or a topless club, definitely. A nice upscale restaurant, or even a regular joe place will provide pretty good income and the hours are a definite benefit. I want to say I'll be proud of any endeavor my daughter decides to pursue, but there are limitations of course. Also, as a former waitress (of regular restaurants!), I can say honestly that you don't get hit on by gross men/women *too often*, and when you do, you have an army of waitstaff to back you up.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:22:37 -0000

Hi SmallWorld. Welcome to 7daybuzz. It's interesting that you would mention the influences that can come with waitressing (i.e. drugs, people having affairs, horrible language, etc.). The friend who told me about this conversation also said that one of the ladies involved in the conversation mentioned that she knew quite a few people who waitressed at the casinos in Vegas and their lives were ruined by those exact things. So I agree that self-confidence is a very important if someone decides to go into that business.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

SmallWorld — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:03:19 -0000

It would completely depend on WHERE my daughter was waitressing. I would not want her to waitress in Las Vegas. There are a lot of restaurants in our area where I wouldn't want her to waitress, but there are a lot I'd feel fine about. It has nothing to do with prestige issues of the job and everything to do with the influences at the job. Having been a waitress during college, I can say that restaurants can be a very bad place to work. I was around a lot of drugs, people having lots of affairs, horrible language, lack of morals in general. It was a very sad place to work. Had I been less self-confident and more easily influenced, I could have been easily sucked in. My husband and most of my friends also worked in restaurants, and we've all come to the same conclusion: approach with care!!

But again, I would reiterate that this is not true for ALL restaurants, but the average one in middle America---I'd probably point my daughter elsewhere.

SmallWorlds last blog post..Book Review: The Sky Isn't Visible From Here

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:10:54 -0000

Hi Anita. Welcome to 7daybuzz. I like your comment, especially the part about "it doesn't matter what other people think of you, it's what you think of yourself..." Thanks for voicing that perspective. Now, let me work on getting over the negative perception of being a waitress:--)

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Anita — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:06:04 -0000

Waitressing is a good, honest job. If my daughter is happy waitressing and she feels her life is fulfilling then I'm all for her being a waitress. Life isn't about "prestige" or "Money" - it doesn't matter what other people think of you, it's what you think of yourself, and your own job that matter. If she's happy I wouldn't care what she was doing (providing it's legal!) I, personally, would applaud her for not joining the whole rat race mentality.
I know several waitresses that are a lot happier and more fulfilled that some high level executives I know... and enjoy their lives more even if they are making less money...

Anitas last blog post..More about strawbale homes...

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:01:02 -0000

Yep, bragging rights are definitely out.:--)

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Kirsten — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:59:16 -0000

I would accept it, but I wouldn't be proud of her career choice. I wouldn't go around bragging about it for sure.

Kirstens last blog post..I Would Like to Thank the Academy

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:49:56 -0000

Hi Kirsten. Welcome to 7daybuzz. I'm with you on not liking it, but would you ever accept it if she made it a career choice -- not just a summer/college job?

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Kirsten — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:46:47 -0000

Having worked as a waitress myself in my younger days, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. But, then again I didn't make 80 grand a year! I hate to say it, but if my daughter chose waitressing as her "career", I wouldn't like it. If she were doing it for a summer job or during college, I wouldn't care as long as she was happy.
I know it sounds snobby, but I have to be honest!

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

Kathy Curry — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:34:59 -0000

I graduated with a woman who worked at Cracker Barrel. She loved it. We graduated college at the same time. Although she got her degree, the only reason she got a "real" job was because she needed health benefits. She kept doing waitressing on weekends and told me she made more money waitressing than at our office job! I wouldn't want my child to do it either forever or as a career but the money can be very good.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:43:14 -0000

Hey Fitness Diva. Welcome to 7daybuzz. I know, I know - if it really boils down to it being my daughter's choice and she's happy -- I will have to eventually accept it and support it. You are definitely on point about it sometimes just boiling down to the amount of money being made.

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

The Fitness Diva — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:36:03 -0000

I guess I wouldn't mind if it was a "just for now" job. Simply because of how hard the job is and also I know how waitresses can be treated (I was one once, myself). However, if she's happy and loving it, then that's her choice and I'll have to support it.
I used to look down my nose a bit at bartenders, but then I learned how much they make in a night. In New York, you can pull down 400+ cash in a night. Heck, even coat check people make out big in the right place.
Sometimes it really just is all about the money, and you can't fault people for choosing a profession that pays their bills in the style they prefer! ;)

The Fitness Divas last blog post..You Are Who You Hang With

Re: Would You Be Embarrassed If Your Daughter Worked as a Waitress?

ksawyer123 — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:27:33 -0000

I definitely understand how paths change for your kids as they get older. When I was in my 20s, I heard about how much money a person could make waitressing at Sizzler. So, I decided to try it as a second job. I didn't last a week! I didn't like the long hours, standing on your feet forever, having to be accomodating to the customers - it just didn't work for me. I didn't get fired, I just never went back. So I can definitely respect those who do waitress , but I'm still not sold on it as a career choice. Stepping stone, yes -- just not permanently.